Originally published on September 12, 2017.
I apologize in advance to all the hipster dudes and hipster-dude-girlfriends and hipster-dude-wives for what you are about to read.
I’m not a fan of the man bun. Seriously. Get a haircut. Wear a hat. Just please… lose the man bun.
Man buns are ridiculous. This has been my opinion since the very first time I saw one back in 2003. It was on David Beckham, but since professional soccer players – excuse me, football players – are obnoxiously annoying by nature anyway, I gave him a pass on the man bun. Still, the minute I saw him, I thought he looked ridiculous. Why would an otherwise good-looking guy choose to wear an up-do, I wondered? Before long equally ridiculous-looking man buns were popping up on the heads of men everywhere in all walks of life from Hollywood elite to regular Joes. I kept my opinion to myself because to each his own, right? Plus, if nothing else, a guy sporting a man bun seems kinda harmless. Probably not what your average dude wants to hear, but it’s true.
Anyway, I saw this video the other day about clip-on man buns and forgive me, but I can no longer stay silent. Real man buns are ridiculous enough, but clip-on man buns… well, you just have to watch the video to appreciate how truly ridiculous clip-on man buns are.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SU9wyvTvAOw
Initially I thought this was the work of some clever satirist, some fellow with neatly cropped hair, hell-bent on illustrating the irony of a clip-on man bun. You know, as in working hard to look as if you don’t work hard to look good. Read it again. Slowly. I promise it makes sense. Rather, it doesn’t, which is the whole point.
The blonde guy in the video guides us through the steps of clipping on a man bun, then somebody off camera hands him a brewski while the caption and enjoy your new life flashes before your eyes. Seriously…enjoy your new life? Because you have a man bun? You have to admit it’s stupid-funny, but as it turns out the clip-on man bun is, indeed, a thing. And you can order your very own Original (don’t be fooled by imposters) Clip-On Man Bun from amazon for $9.99! And they’re prime eligible! And (not surprisingly) they are frequently bought with…
fake tattoo arm sleeves. This is not a drill, people. I repeat, this is not a drill.
One might argue that at least real man buns are functional, even if it is in that I’m-incredibly-busy-so-I-don’t-have-time-to-think-about-getting-a-haircut-let-alone-actually-get-one-which-means-my-hair-is-so-long-a-regular-ponytail-won’t-keep-it-off-the-chiseled-features-of-my-dangerously-handsome-face-so-I’m-forced-to-wear-this-man-bun sort of way. Clip on man buns don’t even have that going for them. Watch as real men try the clip-on man bun.
Tell me they don’t look ridiculous. I dare you.
Let’s get the conversation started. What’s your opinion of the man bun? What about the clip-on man bun? Leave a comment.
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