People ask why I take dance lessons. After all, I was a gymnast and studied a bit of ballet. I’ve got rhythm. Heck, I hoofed well enough to lasso myself a husband at a dance marathon more than three decades ago. That’s got to count for something, right?

Dance lessons might seem like a waste of money at my age, but here’s the deal. Dancing is not something you just go out and do haphazardly. Dancing must be learned. Case in point: The Alpine Girls’ excruciatingly awkward exhibition at the 36th Bangkok International Motor Show.  Watch.

VIDEO CREDIT: Yet another tech guy www.youtube.com/channel/UCvXTBW-Lgre_E_TnJgwUDWg

The Alpine Girls possess some interesting assets. We won’t dispute that. It just so happens dancing is not one of them. The painful images of their ungainly bobbing and waving and bouncing and twitching remind me that no matter how fabulous of a dancer one regards oneself, taking lessons from a professional is always a good idea.

Granted, at my age and given my particular set of assets, no one is going to invite me to dance at a car show. Or anywhere, probably. Still, there’s a chance, infinitesimal as it may be, that the opportunity to dance in public (or on Dancing with the Stars) might one day present itself. Stuff like that happens when you least expect it so it’s best to be prepared. In the words of Benjamin Franklin, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” And THAT is why I take dance lessons.

Regarding The Alpine Girls, let’s hope they invest in some dance lessons – preferably before the 37th Bangkok International Motor Show – and dresses that fit… preferably the sort with built-in bra cups. Like right now.

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