Man’s War on Pubic Hair

Originally published on March 12, 2015.

I have it on good authority that bros are shaving their nether regions. I can’t say on whose authority because I promised not to name names, but according to this person manscaping has become something of a cultural norm for males under age 30. I’m not talking about waxing to tidy up edges and keep stubborn strays from peeking out of tighty-whitey leg holes. THAT I can handle. I’m talking about shearing the full monty… complete hairlessness. Bald.

SHAVING-SAYS-A-LOT-ABOUT-A-MAN-LIKE-IM-NOT-ONE-THUMBCall me old fashioned, but in my opinion, dudes should not be shaving south of the border. Period. End of discussion. Yet they are and it makes met wonder. What is prompting this declaration of war on pubic hair? Is it a passing fad spawned by man-thongs and greased up Calvin Klein underwear models? Or is it a Peter Pan Pandemic, as in the manifestation a psychosocial desire to return to the care-free days of childhood? Maybe it’s a misguided attempt at hygiene? Whatever. It’s still a bad idea, not to mention a wee bit confusing.

As a testosterone zone surviver (a.k.a mother of sons), I’ve learned a thing or two about the relationship males have with their private parts. They love them. They are proud of them and they are exceedingly protective of them. I can’t begin to count the number of times I’ve raced to the aid of a pack of screaming young men in my home, only to find the lot of them groaning and empathetically holding their crotches, while simultaneously pointing to the television where some guy – a stranger no less – is writhing in pain having taken a direct hit to the groin. That’s what’s so confusing. It seems the last thing a guy would want next to his genitals is a sharp instrument. But hey. That’s just me and I’m a girl so what do I know.

The thing is, there is a reason human beings have pubic hair. I don’t know what it is, but I feel certain there is one and what I do know is manscaping is a bad idea. As proof that this claim is true, allow me to remind you that more than three decades ago, physicians abandoned the practice of shaving areas around impending surgical procedures. Why? Because it’s a bad idea.

Evidence indicates hair removal actually increases the risk of post-surgical infection. Shaving pubic hair causes inflamed hair follicles and microscopic skin wounds. Combine this with the warm, dark, moist genital environment, and you’ve created a fertile breeding ground for pustules, papules, boils, abscesses, cellulitis and some of the worst bacteria around: Group A Streptococcus (also know as flesh eating bacteria), Staphylococcus aureus (also known as staph infection) and the mutated methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (also known as MRSA). In addition, physicians report increased risk of herpes, genital warts and other sexually transmitted infections in folks who maintain hair-free zones. I can argue my position till I’m blue in the face, but as they say a picture is worth a thousand words…

CAUTION: Graphic images.

Flesh Eating Strep

Flesh Eating Strep

staph-002

Staph Infection

MRSA

MRSA

genital herpes

genital herpes

genital warts

genital warts

Gentlemen, removing your pubes is not simply a bad idea. It’s a REALLY, REALLY bad idea. Trust me. The best way to prevent THIS from happening to YOUR MAN PARTS is to JUST SAY NO and LET IT GROW. Let it grow, let it grow, let it grow.

Copyright © 2015 Antoinette Datoc All Rights Reserved