If you happen to catch a glimpse of me walking down the street, the words Look! It’s Quasimodo! probably won’t be the first to pop into your head. Apparently, however, that won’t be the case if you happen to catch a glimpse of me dancing.

I haven’t actually seen myself dance, but apparently once the music cues and I execute my first cha, I undergo a metamorphosis which takes me from Dancing Housewife to hybrid version of a twerking Niki Minaj and deformed bell ringer