Dear Dance Diva,
I am a competitive ballroom dancer looking for an amateur partner. I currently dance pro-am silver smooth and rhythm, but I’d really like to find an amateur partner for a number of reasons. Ultimately I’d like to compete amateur-amateur, but for now I’d even settle for just having someone to practice with. I am a female follow looking for a male lead and I am five feet, seven inches tall in two inch competition heels. Do you know anyone who might be interested or do you have any suggestions for finding a partner?
Looking for Mr. Right on the Dance Floor
The Dancing Housewife & The Dancing Doc circa 2017
Dear Looking for Mr. Right on the Dance Floor,
Finding a dance partner is no easy task. Whether your goal is to become a champion or to have someone to dance with at social parties, it’s one of the biggest challenges dancers face. I count my blessings that The Dancing Doc and I have each other and that dancing together has not destroyed our marriage! I say this because compatibility is critical to any partnership and dancing is no exception. You may not be looking for the love of your life, but dance partnerships involve spending lots of time together so it’s a good idea to be clear about what you want out of the partnership so you can convey it to any prospective partners. It’s much better to set expectations before you ever start dancing with someone than after you’ve invested significant time and money only to discover you’re not on the same page. With that being said, here are some things to ponder before you begin your search. Be honest with yourself and as specific as possible.
- What styles do you dance? Are you willing to learn a new style? What percentage of time are you willing to devote to learning a new style? What percentage of time do you expect your partner to spend on styles you currently dance?
- Are you looking for a competitive partner or a practice partner?
- What is your height requirement?
- Location, location, location. If you are not in the same dance studio or city are you willing to travel? How often? Do you expect your partner to travel? How often?
- How often and for how long would you like to practice? How flexible is your ideal practice schedule?
- How often would you like to compete and at what competitions? How flexible is your ideal competition schedule?
- What is your dance budget? How much money can you comfortably dedicate to lessons, floor time, competition expenses, etc.? How will you track your spending so that it is equitable between you and your partner?
- What are your long-term and short-term goals for progress?
Once you’ve taken the time to figure out what you want in a dance partner, what is non-negotiable and on what items you’re willing to compromise, you’re ready to broadcast that you’re searching for a partner. The dance studio where you currently take lessons or practice is probably the best place to start. Talk to the studio owner, your teacher, support staff, your dance buddies and group classmates about your desire to find a partner. In general, the more people who know you’re looking for a partner, the better your chances of finding one.
Social media is also a great way to get the word out. If you’re on Facebook and you’re not already a member, consider joining Amateur Ballroom Dancers. Folks routinely post looking-for-a dance-partner posts in the group. You might also check out the Men In Black Pro-Am Tour and leaderboards for prospective partners. The Mission of the MIB Tour is to promote, support and grow competitive ballroom dance for amateur men and their pro dance partners in the United States. Sure these men are committed to dancing pro-am, but you never know who’s aching to add am-am or is interested in finding a practice partner. Think about gentlemen you know from different studios currently dancing pro-am in your area or anyone you’ve come across on the competition circuit. Once you identify some prospects, be bold! Reach out to ask if they are interested in a try out. You don’t know unless you try
Finally, finding someone who shares your goals and/or is willing to compromise is important so be prepared to have candid conversations with any prospects who come your way. Having similar goals and expectations is important, but perhaps more important is mutual respect and enjoying dancing together. Ask yourselves these questions:
- Can we work together?
- Do we share a similar work ethic, drive and focus?
- Is dancing together fun?
- Do we like each other?
- Do we respect each other?
Good luck and happy dancing!
Dance Diva
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