The One About the Guy Dating His Co-Worker

Dear Dance Diva,

I had a crush on a female coworker for around two years, but when it comes to women I’m shy and lack confidence. I tried, but couldn’t get the nerve to ask her out so I started taking dance lessons in order to impress her at our company holiday party. It worked. We danced a few times at the party, one thing led to another, I asked her out and we’ve been dating for the last six weeks. We both really enjoy dancing and she started taking lessons at the same studio as me. As it turns out, I don’t like her as much as I thought I did. In fact, the more I get to know her, the less I like her. Dancing is really the only thing we have in common and she’s not as good at it as I am.

I don’t want to see her anymore and I’m going to tell her. I know it will be awkward for a while since we work together and see each other a few nights a week at the studio, but my question is how long should I wait before asking another girl out? It’s not just any girl, it’s the dance instructor who teaches one of the group classes my soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend and I both take weekly. My-soon-to-be-ex is already a little jealous of her because it’s obvious she has a thing for me. She flirts with me in class and around the studio and I am attracted to her too. Even though I don’t like my soon-to-be-ex, I don’t want to hurt her. What’s your advice?

Dancing Dan


Dear Dancing Dan,

Whooooaaa…hang on there cowboy. Soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend’s feelings notwithstanding,  do not…I repeat…DO NOT under any circumstances ask out your dance instructor. She will not…I repeat…WILL NOT accept an invitation to go on a date with you. I don’t care if you’re Prince Charming, she’s not going to go out with you.

NEWSFLASH: She is not flirting with you. Teaching you how to dance is her job. Spreading joy is part of that job. Being nice to her students is part of that job. She is just doing her job and doing it well. After all, would you continue taking lessons or classes from someone who wasn’t nice to you?

Actor Rudolph Valentino circa 1923 (


Pay attention, Valentino. I’d wager my last nickel she’s not treating you any differently than she’s treating any of her other male students.

Reality check: it’s not you she likes. It’s her job.



You say the more you get to know your soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend, the less you like her. My guess is the feeling is mutual. One more thing. About this… Dancing is really the only thing we have in common and she’s not as good at it as I am…really?

You asked for my advice? Here it is.

Image Source:

 You’re welcome.

Dancing Diva

Need advice? Get in touch…

We will keep your identity and personal information private. What clever alias would you like to use in stead of your real name?
DISCLAIMER: By submitting a question to this website, you agree to this disclaimer and grant permission, to those acting as or on behalf of The Dancing Housewife and Dear Dance Diva to publish your question and the answer on this site or elsewhere including print publications. Your full name, email address or any personal information you may disclose will never be published or posted. Due to the large number of questions received, there is no guarantee that a question will be answered or published on the site. Advice offered and opinions expressed in this column are intended for entertainment and informational purposes only. Use of this column is not intended to replace or substitute professional advice. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require legal, psychological, medical or any specialized professional help, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified specialist. The advice offered and opinions expressed in this column are not intended to treat or diagnose; nor are they meant to replace the treatment and care that you may be receiving from a licensed professional, physician or mental health professional. This column, its author, owner and publisher are not responsible for the outcome or results following any advice in any given situation. You, and only you, are completely responsible for your actions.

Copyright © 2017 The Dancing Housewife  All Rights Reserved