In an effort to fend off the negative impact empty-nesthood can have on couples who devote the better part of their married lives to raising kids, my husband and I took up ballroom dancing.
Two years and three obscenely expensive ballroom dresses later, we find ourselves preparing for our first American Rhythm competition…TOGETHER. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I finally wore him down and in however many days and hours the counter on the homepage currently displays, we will hit the dance floor at the Atlanta Ballroom Challenge.
Seriously, The Dancing Doctor (as he will be known forever more) bought into the whole ballroom kit and caboodle, right down to the fancy dance pants and made-to-order loose fit Latin shirt. Heck I even caught him napping shirtless on the hammock last weekend to “get a little color” on his face. Like he ever cared about that before. Anyway we’ve been practicing incessantly which is awesome because I LOVE BALLROOM DANCING!
There are a fillion-dillion reasons why I love ballroom dancing, but for now here are my top five.
- Number Five – The music. I love music. All kinds. Now The Dancing Doctor and I can dance to any song the band plays at weddings.
- Number Four – The health benefits. Dancing burns calories, improves coordination and core strength, reduces stress and makes you smarter. Seriously. Dynamic brain functions – for example, learning and memorizing patterns and deciding what steps to take and in what order – pave the way for new neural pathways which increases mental capacity.
- Number 3 – The dresses. (RELATED POST: Say Yes to the Dress)
- Number 2 – The competitive circuit. I finally found something at which The Dancing Doctor and I can compete as a team which does not involve throwing, catching or hitting a ball with something.
And the Number One reason I love ballroom dancing is (insert drumroll)…
- Traditional gender roles.
You might be surprised to learn traditional gender roles trumps competing with The Dancing Doctor. Why? I detest radical feminism. What does radical feminism have to do with ballroom dancing? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. And that is the point. There is no room for the radical feminist agenda on the dance floor. It’s the last safe haven.
Ballroom dancing is predicated on strict traditional gender roles. Except for every man that ever lived and is yet to be born, there is nothing radical feminists hate more than traditional gender roles. Take for example this page from the Badass Feminist Coloring Book (yes there really is one set for release in August, 2015).Pictures depicting women wearing dresses on restroom signs evidently is on the ever-growing official list of (manufactured) grievances against the “oppressive patriarchy” because
“we live in a world that is so sexist that women still can’t wear pants on public restroom signs.”
Puh-leeze. Let me take a moment to point out we are not talking about actual living, breathing, thinking people who wake up every morning and select an outfit to wear. For the love of Pete, they are just pictures… UNIVERSAL SYMBOLS… used to designate which public restrooms are for men and which are for women (see below). Call me crazy, but wouldn’t we all be
a teensy-weensy bit VERY confused about which bathroom to use if the man and the woman were both wearing pants? ￼The World Dance Sport Federation defines a couple as consisting of a male and female partner. Men lead and, barring the occasional reflexive attempt to back-lead our own turns, women follow. The heart and soul of ballroom dancing is the synergy of movement between a man and a woman in traditional gender roles. There is nothing oppressive about it and despite their appalling attempts to blur distinctions and completely neutralize gender in every conceivable facet of society, ballroom dance remains immune to the radical feminists’ agenda, which is why it landed at number one on my list.
Don’t get me wrong. I really, really love dancing with my husband, but as I wistfully submit to his lead (Pat, stop laughing), if I can piss off a few radical feminists along the way, well… that’s just icing on the cake.
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